Reinforcing Your Values
Why are values inportant in a parent-child relationship? Lets take the television scenario as an example here.
When you watch television with your child, you can use this opportunity to gain insight into your child’s thoughts, as well as get your values across by expressing your opinions indirectly.
In the book by Nancy Samalin, on ‘Loving without Spoiling’, she states, “You can ask your older children what they think about the character’s actions and decisions.”
You can probe deeper about asking what they think caused the character to make a particular decision…. what would she/he feel if she/he were in the same sitiuation? what would she/he do? What kind of decision would she/he make? Why would she/he make such a decision? What resources would she/he use in order to help him obtain the result that she/he wants?
In probing, you stimulate your child’s ability to be creative and feel confident in handling herself/himself in specific situations. When you gain insight into her/his thoughts, it will give you also the opportunity to provide her/him with the necessary guidance that she/he may need in the given situation. Knowing how your child will behave in that particular situation will help you feel confident about your child’s abilities.
Question: What if your daughter/son wants to watch a movie that you consider as violent?
In situations wherein values are compromised, it is recommended that you exercise your authority and stand on your decision.
In what way can you show this authority? What kind of discipline would you enforce in a situation like this?
In our next post, let’s discuss about how we can make chores matter…..