Parenting Coach

Your Guide to Better Parenting

How adult perfection may conflict with your child’s tasks

Children are not adults. Children learn by doing and by making mistakes.

When a child is motivated to make up her/his bed, or clean her/his room, it will, undoubtedly not be perfect in the beginning, right?  The sheets may not be folded in accordance to how we would want it to be- neat and orderly. She/he may clean her/his room, but some areas may still be ‘not so clean’, the way we would expect ‘clean’ to be.  That’s ok. She/he is learning. Your role as a parent is to guide him to take the baby steps to perfection. Your role is to keep her/him motivated to keep trying, keep learning.

When you have a very busy schedule during the week, you can take a moment over the weekend and go through the process with her/him, showing her/him how it is really done, then allowing her/him to do it herself/himself.

Don’t criticize the imperfection. Accept her/his imperfections as part of the learning process. Praise his efforts and do not redo or correct the task.

In the book ‘You’re not the Boss of Me’, Betsy Brown Braun states, ‘It is the independent initiative that counts, not the outcome.’

Wouldn’t it be so nice if one day we no longer have to fix the beds of our children or clean their rooms  and spend that time just doing the things we would love to do for ourselves?

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