Parenting Coach

Your Guide to Better Parenting

Should you spank your child?

I am currently reading the book ‘1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for children 2-12’ by Thomas W. Phelan,PH.D. He says that its about time that people face up to the reality: the vast majority of spankings are parental  temper tantrums. They are no way attempts to train or educate a child.

Physical hurt, verbal abuse,threatening, coercing, put-downs, ridicules, isolation and all negative acts towards our child diminishes her/his self-esteem, degrade and humiliate her/him. 

Dr. Phelan further states that parents who have problems with anger management and self-control try to justify and rationalize spanking by saying that its for their child’s own good, or that this is a way of setting limits and “having to hit my kid hurts me more than it does her/him”.

However, even if so much research says that spanking may result to having aggressive children, generally speaking, adults who do spank do not care one bit about research.

In the book ‘Kids are Worth It’: ‘Character builds slowly,but it can be torn down with incredible switftness’.

‘Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make our children do better, first we have to make them feel worst?’ by Jane Nelson

I have three wonderful daughters who I have never spanked and they are all successful and continue to be my wonderful daughters even when they have their own families now….many say that the children now are so different from the children of yesterday….i believe, one thing remains very basic:  Our children are given to us and it is our responsibility to act as ‘guardians’ . It is our job to C- champion our child to be the best of himself, H- Harness his abilities, talents and gifts, I- Instill the values that will make him a person that she/ he can be proud of, as well as you can be proud of, too, L- Love him, lift up his spirits to greatness, be the light of his world, and D- Discipline him with your devotion because she/ he is God’s divine masterpiece. Why, then, does it become such a challenge to see our child as who we are? Or to treat her/him the way we would like to be treated?

What is your parenting philosophy on this?


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