How can we make our child feel valued?
What happens when we make our children feel valued? Try to recall an instance when someone made u you feel valued. It made you energized, motivated and enthust, right?
One of the ways i made my children feel valued was to include them in the decision making of a major problem. I remember once I had this problem of whether to change jobs or continue to stay on a job I no longer enjoyed just because I had to earn in order for us to survive. My children and I processed the pros and cons and they contributed their own ideas, one of which, to my amazement, was to look for a new job while I was still on the current job.
This process, I felt, made them feel important, valued and respected and in turn, it made me motivated. It gave me the confidence that I was not alone in my problem and that there were 3 loving people on my side, cheering my every step. It gave me the strength to try; it took away the fear of failure because I knew my children loved me no matter what. In turn, I saw much cooperation from them.
In the book,’Raising Everyday Heroes’ by Elisa Medhus,M.D., she states that when we want our child to learn a new skill, present it as a sincere request for assistance rather than a requirement she must meet to gain experience, develop independence, and become responsible. A good example would be ,” I cannot find my eyeglasses anywhere. Can you please help me look for them, since you have a much clearer vision than I ?I could really use your help.” This will make your child feel taht she has a meaningful and contributing role in the family.
What other ways can we make our child feel valued? I’ll talk more about this and give you more specific examples in my next post.